My Birthday

Today I am 43 years and one day old. Yesterday was my birthday (which I share with FDR, Dick Cheney, and Christian Bale... quite an interesting mix) and it will go down as one of my best. Why? Well, for one thing, I think more people remembered than had in a long, long time. I have always had this strange fear of dying and no one outside of my immediate family caring. But, at least if I "shuffled off this mortal coil" today, I do think some people will remember me (in fact, my mother, as one of our family traditions, called me to tell me she knew exactly where I was 43 years ago). And my wonderful partner, he was so good to me (it was exactly seven years ago on my birthday that we met... you know you have found a good'n when they are willing to stand outside to watch after a total stranger as he tried to qualify for the vomit olympics). He bought opera tickets, got me some nice clothes, took me to dinner (Ohbi Sushi, the care they put into their sushi is amazing) and just doted on me the entire evening.

Ah, 43... given that the average life expectancy in the U. S. is about 78 years I am definitely into "middle age". Some days I feel it. This morning I am thinking of the words of one of my favorite poets, T. S. Elliot (a fellow Missourian):
...
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.
...
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they will sing to me...
(For you Philistines who don't know the poem you can read the whole thing here. *grin*)

And so, here in my middle age, I have not achieved greatness as the world considers greatness. But so what? I'm happy. I have friends. Yes, most of my life has been spent in a "supporting role", but where would the supposedly great be without their support? At times almost ridiculous? Yep, c'est moi, but ridiculous to whom and how? Some people say I am ridiculous because I have no desire to step on the necks of people to advance myself. Others because I "merely" seek a life of peace, joy, contentment, and love and do not chase after the material. I desire a "simple life", and as the great Hobbit philosopher Bilbo Baggins says "It is no bad thing, to celebrate a simple life". And that is what happened yesterday. My love to all of you who helped me in doing this, you will never know how much it meant to me.