Life In Southern California

Well, it's been about 8 years since I moved to San Diego and I still find myself trying to adjust. Granted, the weather is wonderful and I love my little place in Ocean Beach. I've finally found a work environment that can provide a stable source of income (and hopefully a real career). In the relatively short time I have lived here I have seen changes in the city, an increase in options for recreation, growth in the number of culinary and cultural offerings, and a revival (somewhat) of the downtown area. But things are not as they should be. With very, very few exceptions I have found it difficult to meet and create good, solid friendships. Part of my time in therapy last year delved into this issue but I have not found any resolution. I keep wanting to say "It's not like it was in Kansas City and St. Louis, people are more friendly there." To be completely honest though that was what, 10 years or more ago and I do not know what it would be like to move back there. I have never had a lot of friend, but the friendships that were forged were strong and deep, they cut across educational, social, and economic boundaries... they were people who worked at Subway, people who were programmers, doctors, auto mechanics, dancers, and people who worked in pipe shops. The friendships tended not to be based on one thing but were grounded by common interests (time was taken to find out what those interests were) and went beyond the singular event that brought us together. Events were both formal (planned) and informal. Discussion was always lively, sometimes deep, sometimes just good friends spending a sunny afternoon together maybe having a beer and or going out to watching a movie or bowling or taking a hike. We kept in touch which often created spontaneous "meet-ups". We were always introducing each other to new people and we could expand our groups as we wanted. I think the common bond was that we just enjoyed being around each other, period. Maybe it is different back there now. It has definitely been different here. Seems like people pigeon-hole you quickly and place you into a certain category out of which it is difficult (if not impossible) for you to extract yourself. Am I wrong? It really seems like here that people are always looking for something better and they treat others that way. It's not been uncommon for people to set things up with me and then break them, not just once but repeatedly. It's like pulling teeth to get people to commit to doing something, again as if they want to keep their schedule open just in case something "more fun" might come along. I dunno... am I wrong? If so, please let me know and if you have any suggestions I would love to hear them.