How Long Does It Take?

Six months since Aleks moved out and this morning the sight of him made my heart skip a beat. This is Erwin's last day in San Diego so we went to Shade's for breakfast (per my routine... no Oscar this time). The marine layer was thick and the ambient conversations were banal (some hung-over b*tch told her rather attractive boyfriend that he looked like Don King, though she had difficulty coming up with the name and they had to play 20 questions before he could get her to slur it out), when Aleks and his boyfriend walked by. My heart literally stopped for a second. Erwin noticed it and asked me if I was alright. I told him who I had just seen and suddenly I couldn't eat. It was all I could do not to cry. I wonder how long I will continue to carry this around? I seem to deal with it in the abstract but when events actualize I lose composure. Something to talk about in therapy on Tuesday.