Had an interesting text from an acquaintance of mine. This younger guy, after commenting on the attractiveness of someone on a television show, asked me "r (sic) relationships w/goodlooking men possible these days?" Take a moment to let this soak in. I realize this was in a text and it was sent while he was looking at a guy on TV so the scale was skewed, but it seems that this is a rather common question. In hookup circles it is like being asked "Are you goodlooking?" Like many things in life the answer begins with "It depends..." To some people (like Mr. Beau) I am considered goodlooking. However, if you only like twinks or Blacks or Asians or muscle-studs the answer would have to be "No". If your idea of goodlooking is something from "Bear Monthly" then yes, if it is from the now-defunct A&F catalog, it's a resounding no.
Now lets return to the original question. I have to say that I have found EVERY boyfriend/partner goodlooking. Let's face it, we all say looks don't matter but who's kidding whom? Often physical attraction is the first thing to bring two people together (not always, but often). Brains, wit, common viewpoints, mutually enjoyed activities, etc help bring about the second date, but that first is often when you notice someone standing across the room (oops, giving away my age there... I mean, when you first see their nude pic on bootycall.com) and tell yourself "I want to get closer to that guy/gal at least for tonight". So often people you are in a relationship you at least consider them to be goodlooking. But lets go even deeper... a relationship with someone who is goodlooking. It takes TWO to have any type of relationship (even in mathematics you have two or more elements from one or more sets that are needed to be in a relation, even a narcissistic one like the identity function). In all honesty, you would have to know what that "goodlooking guy/gal" is looking for in a relationship and then ask if YOU bring that to the table. I suppose the hidden implication is that goodlooking people do not want relationships or have set such high standards that they will never be fulfilled. Well, as I am in a relationship with someone I consider goodlooking, I can at least say that if those two states are the rule I am lucky to be part of the exception.
5 comments:
What is a twink?
Is "Bear Monthly" a teddy bear catalogue?
Is this what the meaning of life boils down to- how attractive you are?
I suppose we should think of ourselves as cardboard cutouts wafting about except that cardboard has some depth.
LOL A twink is a man who looks very young. A bear is their antithesis (usually heavyset, hairy rather than thin and smooth).
It's sad, but for many it does seem that the decision of a life-partner boils down to how good you look. In thinking about it further, not just how good you look to the person doing the looking but how good you look to everyone. As if being with a "hot" guy/gal adds value to you in some strange way. It's the gay version of finding a "trophy wife".
I always found you to be physically attractive, though not a 'bear'. (Haven't seen you lately or all the goods either.) In fact, I think of you as a geeky Adonis of sorts. Just a complement, nothing more.
* blush * Thanks for the compliment.
I am so lucky to find someone like you!
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